Moving From Home to a Senior Care Facility
You’ve probably heard that moving is one of the ten most stressful events in life, right up there with changing jobs, divorce, and death. If just moving within the community is stressful, imagine how much more difficult it is for elderly people confronted with moving into a care facility. Often this kind of move forces the senior to confront many challenges. Understanding these challenges can help a caregiver ease the senior’s burden.
Some of the Challenges a Senior Might Face Include:
- Changes in physical condition. Examples include a stroke, dementia, a general weakening, or an acute medical crisis.
- Changes in the ability to be independent. No longer being able to do the things that most of us take for granted such as bathing, dressing, and handling our own business.
- Changes in the social environment. The move may remove them from their spouse, friends, or familiar community.
- Changes in financial status. Seniors often spend a lot of money trying to stay in their home. Then, when they do have to move, they are often shocked by the cost of living in a care facility. Moving can place considerable strain on a senior’s financial resources. Frequently, this represents not only a monetary loss, but also a psychological loss of the security that comes from having money in the bank. This can be especially difficult for seniors who lived through the depression of the 1930s.
- Changes in privacy. Living in a group setting is not the norm for most people in our culture. Living in a care facility dramatically reduces the level of privacy most people are accustomed to after living in their own home.
How Can Caregivers Help Someone in This Stressful Life Transition?
There are some things that can be done to ease the transition from home to a senior care facility.
- Give the senior a chance to adjust. As much as you may feel compelled to stay with them, it is important to give seniors a chance to adjust to their new home, make friends, and be part of the care facility community. Many facility administrators recommend giving new residents a week to acclimate. This does not mean that you shouldn’t visit; you don’t want them to feel abandoned. Rather, make your visits brief, and actively encourage them to take part in the life of the community. Join them in an activity or for a meal in the dining room.
- Help the senior accept the realities of institutional care. Explain how institutional care is different from home care. Explain the limitations of institutional care, such as being on a schedule, having to wait for help, and having a limited selection of meals. This does not mean tolerating poor care, but having realistic expectations and knowing when to complain.
- Take a break. This is a recurring theme throughout this site. Chances are you have had to work hard to get to this point. The battle to get to the facility leaves many caregivers emotionally and physically exhausted. Take some time to regroup and refuel. Your senior’s physical needs are now being met elsewhere.
- Be nice to the staff. These are often underpaid and hard working people. They sometimes bear the brunt of the strong feelings of caregivers and seniors alike at being placed in a care facility. They are not the enemy. Take some time to learn about the reality of their jobs; it is not easy. Get to know them as people. Express your appreciation of a task well done. Listen to their point of view. Setting the foundation for a good relationship will make all the difference when difficulties arise and you need their assistance.
- Educate the staff about your situation. Take the time to let the staff know about your particular caregiving situation. Share information you learned as a caregiver. For example, describe the senior’s likes and dislikes. The staff can benefit from your experience.
- Your role as a caregiver remains important. Use community resources to assist you as a caregiver. Some helpful resources for caregiving in a senior care facility include: home health agencies (one can hire a chore worker to provide one-on-one attention), self-help organizations, medical resources, and transportation.
Finally, movement to a care facility is not a failure — not of you as a caregiver or of the senior in your care. It is only one of many journeys and paths you take as a caregiver.
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